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The History of Topazo Chapter 1

I said I'd give a review, so here it is~ 

I liked it, thus far, I'll be reading more that comes out in the future. 

NEGATIVES 

  • A few grammar mistakes, but those can easily be fixed 
  • Lack of detail, in my opinion. It would've been nice to add some gruesome detail in the first chapter, a nursery exploded! You could've created some disgusting imagery with babies blowing up, haha. More on the characters look would be nice as well 

POSITIVE 

  • Mystery: The mystery, and yearning for a next chapter you left was nice. The dude at the hospital, what happens to Topazo, why'd the hospital explode, who the hell Ian is, ect. It was very good. 
  • Character design was sounding good, from the picture I painted in my head. 
  • Follows Dragon Ball Z pretty well, with the hospital and stuff. Nice to see you came up with Saiyan names for most as well. 

Overall, I'd say 7.5/10 so far. Keep it up! 

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